Give Them Chores

Do your kids a favor, give them chores... 

Parenting is the single most complex thing I have done in my life. No matter how much I learn, each day presents me with a new challenge I couldn't have anticipated. I, like you, have learned certain truths over the years. One I stand by is that all humans, kids included, are healthier and happier when they have a purpose. Chores easily fall into this category, in small, deliberate ways.

The Autonomy Conundrum
When assigning chores, the first hurdle we all must get over, is the desire for the job to be done “right” or “well.” Eventually your kid will be brilliant at washing dishes. But at first, they will… just… kind of suck at it. Learn to adjust your expectations and give help where needed in the beginning of new tasks. It is very important to remember to let them actually do the job. There is a fine balance between teaching them and doing it for them. Show them how, step back and let them try. Give advice, give praise, give constructive criticism, but DON’T take back the job while they are trying. You may have to redo some of the work later, but I promise this empowerment will pay off.

Being Useful
There is so much strength to be found in feeling “useful.” I’ve never met a kid that hasn’t complained about doing chores. The dread of helping out can be mitigated when they get to claim that chore as their own, and they know that it’s important. It gives them a sense of belonging and purpose that they won’t learn if things are always done for them. Our 7 year old is responsible for bringing in the mail daily and she gets upset when someone else does her job.

Your Decision Maker
Lastly, get your kids involved in making the decisions about what they will do. Give them options and let them decide which task they want to own. Let them show you ways that they make that job their own, let them “discover” new techniques or processes. Ownership is a powerful tool. One day my son decided he wanted to clean the dining room. He wiped down the table, top and bottom, wiped down the chairs, swept, and mopped. I didn’t ask him to do this, he just volunteered. He came up with how he wanted to do it and when he was done, he was elated. Plant the seed that responsibilities are valued and they will dive in.

Here is a list of jobs my kids have done and do. I’d love to hear yours…
Washing dishes
Taking out and in the trash
Getting the mail
Setting the table for dinner
Clearing the table
Sweeping
Helping with laundry, folding clothes
Making the bed
Vacuuming
Cooking
Watering the garden
Cleaning up the yard
(the list is potentially endless)